In the Mind of a (dysfunctional) Mocker: Getting to Round 1

By Ben Pfenniger

Great Golly Why am I up this early

Did I grab my shoes?

How about black socks

No probably not but I will just buy some when I get there

Like that will happen I’m just gunna steal them from someone else

Like that will happen white socks will be fine

Plane rides with the entire team sounds like a blast.

Wait is everyone here?

No. for sure no. Where is everyone?

They are all just walking around the airport talking to themselves

That’s not going to get the attention of security at all.

I wonder who has the Demos?

Or the Boxes?

Did anyone check them?

I’m sure they will make it there.

They always do right?

I am about to get so much work done on this flight!

3 hours for 3 crosses shouldn’t be a problem.

Hmmm this Inflight entertainment looks interesting

I will just watch a little bit of “Alvin and the Chipmunks” then start my crosses

Ok I will just finish the movie since I’ve seen so much THEN I will start my cross


Ok breathe no worries I will just write it before I go to bed

I wonder who I’m rooming with.

Leave the suit in the car who cares I just need a bed.

DANG it everyone already got one.

The floor looks ok…. at least I will have this nice hotel pillow

I have to work on my cross anyway

I’ll just work on it during opening ceremony


I’m at Empire!

This is aweome!

We’re winning this! My team will be the next Empire champion!

…just as soon as I write this cross

Which I’ll do right after dinner

I mean after the alumni social…right after that

Its fine I have alllll night

It’s only 1:00am plenty of ti...

Zzzz… Zzzz… Zzzz…

AIWJDASIFJSACU 7:00am?!?!?!? First round is in 1 hour!

Cool just have to shower dress and write a cross in 30 minutes

Annnnnnnd… the bathroom is occupied

I’m just sitting in court all day I guess I don’t have to shower

Hotel coffee: the breakfast of champions

Whew! Made it to the courthouse with 3 minutes to spare

8:03 my captains should be starting this meeting any moment now.

I wonder what goes on in captains meetings anyway.

I bet they get snacks


UGGGH what’s their call order already

…… I really need to know which cross I should write.


It’s okay I have a half hour before the judges get here I can write this cross and run the direct

Of course the judges would be 17 minutes early

At least I’m on prosecution so I have time to write that cross

If we win this round it’s because the other team doesn’t know how to dress.

Shoot speaking of which I’m totally wearing white socks

Maybe we will lose because of my socks…

Can you cross examine someone on their socks?

Speaking of which I should probably start that cross right-

¨Is the prosecution ready to proceed?¨


3 thoughts on “In the Mind of a (dysfunctional) Mocker: Getting to Round 1

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