10 Things that Cost More than Donating to Empire

By Stefanie Mandel (Empire NY ’11 & ’12) and Camille Wyss (Empire NY ’12 & ’13)

Ladies & gentlemen of the jury:

It was 9 pm on Tuesday, February 24, 2015. Young Empire Alumni, Amar Patel, walked through the automatic doors of his local neighborhood CVS.

He searched through aisle 2….aisle 3….aisle 4.

Suddenly, Amar sprinted down aisle 5 and reached his hand out for his soon-to-be prized possession–a jumbo bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Amar grabbed his treat, only to learn that his midnight snack was going to cost $5.84.

Seeing the price tag reminded Amar that he could make a real difference for only $5. LESS than the cost of his sugary treat.

Today, the evidence will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he saved himself $0.84, didn’t buy that jumbo bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and instead made a difference in the lives of young people. That night, Amar donated to Empire Mock Trial.

Members of the jury, if you’re looking to be anything like Amar Patel, just think about all of the things that you buy on a daily basis that cost more than donating to Empire:

A Chipotle burrito – $9.00

You’d have to throw down a minimum of nine dollars to get yourself a spicy Chipotle burrito. But what about chips? And a drink? Making a difference with an Empire donation certainly has a lower price tag than lunch at America’s favorite burrito joint. And the best part is, Empire won’t charge you extra for guacamole!

Venti Oprah Chai Tea Latte with Soy Milk at Starbucks – $5.25

We here at Empire love Oprah as much as People magazine does, but we think her tea lattes are a bit pricey, no? A donation to Empire is definitely less expensive than Oprah’s bourgeois tea, and is certainly more worthwhile.

A five minute cab ride – $10.00

It’s no surprise that Uber is making a killing nowadays, a quick cab ride can easily set you back ten big ones. With a donation to Empire and one less Uber ride during your lifetime, we can guarantee a little extra pocket change, and no sketchy cab smell!

Taylor Swift’s new album on iTunes – $12.99

Ever since T. Swift told Rolling Stone that she took her music off of spotify to “save its value”, homegirl has been raking in bills on bills on bills. Spare Taylor your $12.99, and donate it to Empire who will use it teach a few other values that Swift might not get around to teaching.

A dozen Krispy Kreme donuts – $7.99

A dozen fluffy, delicious Krispy Kreme donuts is arguably worth the $7.99 investment. Yet, a donation to Empire is even cheaper, plus there is no risk of diabetes or obesity associated with a donation.

Parking anywhere in any major city in America – $15.00 (if you’re lucky)

Are you as depressed as your wallet after splurging $45.00 just to park for a few hours in a garage? How about after you pay for the car, the gas, and the insurance? A donation to Empire wouldn’t dent that cash money flow you have going…at least not in the same way that a parking ticket would!

One month of Netflix – $7.99 (without streaming)

We don’t even have to convince you on this one. We can guarantee you that you’re going to want to stop paying for Netflix once you realize that you can just read your extremely dramatic Empire case, and pretend you’re on Law & Order: SVU. No need for Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler when you’ve got a group of mockers on the job!!!

Burt’s Bees Lip Balm Twin Pack – $5.80

The number of people in the world that actually finish their chapstick > the number of people in the world that buy over-priced lip balm > the number of people in the world that donate to Empire Mock Trial. With an easy decision to donate your $5 to Empire instead, you can change this scientifically proven stat, and still use the extra $0.80 to buy the same quality chapstick that you were going to lose anyway!

McNugget Challenge – $25.00

According to a reliable source, Urban Dictionary, the McNugget Challenge is defined as a challenge between two people to eat 100 McDonald’s chicken nuggets in a small amount of time. If you’re a vegetarian and/or don’t enjoy vomiting, you’re in luck: donate ⅕ of your nugget budget, and we promise the proceeds will help teens get sick to their stomach from competition jitters instead of deep-fried, fake meat!

Emoji Poop Pin- $10.00

It’s a disservice to society NOT to buy emoji poop pins, we get it, really. But wouldn’t you rather donate $5 to Empire now? Then you can fundraise with your team to buy emoji poop pins to give out during opening ceremonies, with someone else’s money?! It’s this type of outside-the-box thinking that mock trial encourages.

So what are you waiting for? Just $5 can make a real difference. Please give today.

www.empiremocktrial.org/give

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